The North

by Hana Zara

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06:23
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04:40
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04:09
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02:49
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05:13

credits

released March 19, 2015

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Hana Zara Burlington, Vermont

My name is Hana Zara and this is my art and livelihood. On that note, my music belongs to everyone and is priced as such. Tatterhood, and Little Doll are "pay what you can." When you go to purchase, a box will appear, and you can type in $0.00... Or $100.00! If you want The North free, email me a request for a download code. Hanazaramusic@gmail.com ... more

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Track Name: Day of the Dead
The end already came here and we tunneled through the earth,
In the basement with the lights out to The Good Life and The Cure
With the Geiger counter crying and your breathing keeping time
Learned to think with just my body and to move with just my mind
This used to be a commune, this used to be a farm
A winding way north of the train tracks and south of the liquor store
Where I caught you with a bottle and a ship carved in your arm
With your banjo and your bare feet and your sadness like a stone

And always so alone
Nobody loved you like they should
Son of a gun, day of the dead
Hand on my heart and your name in my head

So your sister called me crying from halfway across the states
She chose the dying of the desert over the dying of the plains
Said New Mexico was different but the sunlight was the same
And the phone was near on fire and she couldn’t say your name
And so we lay you in the garden and you sprung up like a weed
Where we’d scattered red tomatoes and spilled morning glory seeds
All of us tripping in the overgrowth and dying in the brush
All agreed we would have laid ourselves beside you if we could

And if I could, I would
I would have loved you like I should
Son of a gun, day of the dead,
Hand on my heart and your name in my head
Hand on my heart,

And sometimes I still hear you calling me, with some bad dream you can’t forget
Son of a gun, go back to sleep
Kind of the world when you’re crying to me
That you were never any good
Fighting your mind, king of the world
I’m on my way so just stay on the line

Did we come back here for each other, did we come back here for us
Or did the magnets in the city pull the iron in our blood?
Well I came back here for the living, I came back here for the love
For the idea of an ending, for the friendship and the drugs
I came back here for the fires that we lit to light us up
I came back here for the living, I came back here for the love

And just to say it straight, that we all did the best we could
Carrying on, under the sun
Hands in the soil and a prayer for the waking ones
Somebody’s gotta stay behind, carry it on, rise with the sun, ready or not
In the name of the ones we love, In the name of the ones we love
We stay for the ones we love, if not yourself then you stay for the ones you love
And I hope you’re dreaming somewhere good
Son of a gun, day of the dead, hand on my heart and your name in my head
Hand on my heart and your name in my head
credits
Track Name: Science Fiction
I hate your science fiction, I hate your action movies
I hate your clothing from the dumpster and your house below the freeway
And I’m still standing in the wake of all your schizophrenic madness
And you left me at the place where you trailed out beyond language
And so I tried to live without you, in the quiet of the forest
But the quietness was heavy, and the heaviness reflects you
And I hate your loving arms and that your girlfriend took your name
And that you still call me when your lonely just to see if I still love you
And I love you like the wind that comes in screaming off the lake
Woken early in the morning to visions of your face
And I love you like the banshee, as she shrieks in the sun
She didn’t choose to know the future it’s the code in her blood
And I love you like my family, and I love you like my son
And I love you like the morning the midnight becomes

I hate your science fiction, and the lightness in your step
And the trinkets in your pockets and the booze on your breath
And how you always look dirty, even when you are clean,
And how those lines round your eyes they just cut into me
And now my heart feels like metal, and my veins run like rust
I had to start loving god cause I can’t love you this much

And the last time that I saw you, you were crazier than ever
Hadn’t slept in a while, been living outside all winter
And you pulled back the plywood
And we slept on the floor
Dreamt of islands and children and growing old on the shore
But we both woke up thirsty, and despising each other
You went digging through ashtrays with rough yellow fingers
And in the coffeehouse morning we stood by like beggars
For nicotine buzzes and glasses of water
And I hate your crazy wisdom, and your other-worldly freedom
While the rest of us stand still you somehow never stop moving
And I love you like my devil, and I love you like my god
And I’m not really sure you existed at all

I hate your science fiction, and the rhythm in your step
And my fingers in your fingers, and the smoke on your breath
And I’m still scared of your mindset, I’m still scared of your magic,
I’m scared you’ll die at the hands of your horrible habits
And I hate that I once knew you, long before all off this started,
You read books and played cello, and we camped in the yard
Before you started making contact, with those other-worldly forces
It was summer, we were kids, with big dreams and round faces
Track Name: Murcia
When I think of you I see you, in the meadow, with the sun high, and the wind howling low
Picking fruit, arms a-reach
And above, the painted dove
And below, the olive grove
And your father, the Spanish Geppetto, just smiling at me

When I think of you I see you, in the attic, you are wind-struck, and I am manic
You say you can’t understand my Spanish at all
But as I swear that the bed it is a ship
And as the sheets they catch the wind
You look out my window and proclaim that you see land
That you see land, that you see land

Steer on straight to a town the people call Murcia, with her skirt full of fruit in the drought and the dust
Of the mountain that stands like a statuette, changing her face beneath the sun
Throws the light and we look up in wonder
She turns to night and we all fall in love with her
And I’m wrecked enough as it is…
Yeah I’m wrecked enough as it is

Remembering when my bed it was a ship
And my sheets they caught the wind
And you looked out my window and proclaimed that you saw land
Cause now my bed is just a bed
And my sheets are where I turn and fight and twist
Until the morning breaks in like a fist

The last time I saw you, you were standing, Up to your ankles, in the Atlantic
As I climbed in my silver ship
And it rained a million lights
As the ocean filled with vessels just like mine
And you stood waving me goodbye
Missed you so much that I wanted to cry

But Gloria no I didn’t,
cause I’ve got a feeling I came back to visit
See I had a dream we were back in the huerta,
in all of her ringing and reaching up
And above a crescent moon
And below the streets were strewn with dark red fruit…
And above a waxing moon, and below the streets a-ruin with dark red fruit

So we buried ourselves among the roots
Talking in tongues I never use
Married ourselves to the growling hum, and man,
It was good to be back there with you, ah, la de dum, la da dum
Track Name: The Territory
Here I think we all sprung up strange from the drought and then the long acid rain
I know we were thirsty as hell so we drank what we could when it fell
But now so long after the fall, guess I honestly miss you is all,
For your world made of paper and ice and the blue bayonet of your eyes
And you look golden and you say you’re doing fine

But I remember you as a liquored up and livid
Landslide of jailhouse wisdom
I remember you, you were 22 and ragged,
Run down in the underground
I remember you, you were living in the spaces
Left by the occupation
And I remember you when you said you were moving out
You were moving out, you said the territory wears you like a crown
You were moving out, said the territory always runs you down

And I can’t, its how you’re looking at me
You always did make me weak in the knees
Then you smile, put your pen to the page
And declare your trajectory’s changed

And you’re an angel with the sun upon your face, but baby
But I remember you as a liquored up and livid
Landslide of jailhouse wisdom
I remember you, you were 22 and ragged,
Run down in the underground
I remember you, you were living in the spaces
Left by the occupation
And I remember you when you said you were moving out
You were moving out, you said the territory wears you like a crown
You were moving out, said the territory always runs you down

And so you flew like a bird in the hot yellow sun,
Yeah you flew like a bird in the hot yellow sun,
You flew like a bird in the hot yellow sun,
So you flew, with your Warsaw wings and your smoking guns
And I said I caught a bird in the low yellow wind
I said I caught a bird in the slow yellow wind
I said I caught a bird that I held to my chest,
And it beat like a heart, in the palm of my hand
In the palm of my hand, my hand…
Track Name: The Deepest Space
Put your hand upon the table, and my hands there beside yours
And all the history between us has put a quiver in my voice
And you’re asking me how are you?
Say, how’ve you been my love,
And my words are tiny pebbles, I will spill them one by one
I say my heart is awful heavy, I am miles and miles from home
So I have made myself a roadmap from the lyrics in your song
And I know I give you up and that I look for you again
But I get lost each time I try to let the blossom ring you in
I have racked my mind for this, but can’t remember what it means
I know nothing of that softness, I don’t understand the spring.

Now im lying in your bedroom, and the morning time has come
In through your paper curtains, the first glimpses of the sun
And your room is full of relics, of a girl you used to know
Her jewelry on your bedside, her paintings on your wall
But now her face is in your pillow, and her coat is on your floor
Her head is full of fire, her shoes are by the door,
But I see time has come to waltz you off just like time tends to do
And you are with your Emily, I with my memories of you
Yeah you are with your Emily, and I with my memories of you

What am I doing here?
It was a long, long night and I was driving down your road
And your door was open wide and I knew you weren’t home,
Just leaving on the porch light, for any lost soul in the dark
Yeah it was a long long night
With these memories hitting hard

Swimming in the deepest space, where I am wrecked but I’m alright
And if this never comes again, it was the best thing in my life
Swimming in the deepest space where I am wrong in all I am
And if this never comes again you were the truest thing I had
Remembering the statuettes, on the gray streets of Madrid
You came at me with all your love and I turned into one of them
Remembering the statuettes on the gray streets of Madrid
You came at me with all you had, and I turned into one of them
Remember your emotions ran like foreign venom in your veins
Kicking at the bed until you finally found a way to fall asleep
Remember how my fever ran, in the days after you’d gone
Cause even as my mind it wouldn’t say, my body knew what it had done
Swimming in the deepest space
Swimming in the deepest space, the cosmic mess behind my eyes
And if this never comes again, well it was real and it was right

So I’ll write you in my lyrics, I will sing you in my songs
Move west among the sagebrush, you’ll stay east amid the moss
And I’ll find some quiet solace, in the way that all things end,
But I will say there was a love that just burned brighter than the rest
Yes I will know I found a love that just burned brighter than the rest

And I will dream we are together, for our final earthly breath
But it would seem I’m cursed to live a thousand lifetimes until then
And someday I’ll be as ancient as I’ve felt since I was young
And I will know that all my memories, are just a story I was told
Track Name: Happy Birthday Harry
The river rose is wasted and everybody’s swimming
And everybody’s singing carry on, carry on
And harry’s upstairs sucking nitrous oxide from a can
And watching river roses twine up both his hands

And he says he misses Arizona and he misses Montezuma
And he’s gonna leave new England just as fast as he can
Says whether I go winging like a swallow or crawling like a rodent the rivers gonna pull me back again

And New England’s gonna drown me, gonna freeze me up and drown me
New England gonna set the living shiver in my bones,
See I’ve been drinking since I got here and I got here 27 years ago

And no matter how the cards show their faces
And no matter how the dice hit the table
And no matter how the women lift their skirts a little higher
We’re all tired and getting older every year
And I can’t reckon why they spend their money here
Because the river rose is wasted and everybody’s swimming
And everybody’s singing carry on carry on
the river rose is wasted and everybody’s swimming
and everybody’s singing carry on

and last week is was my birthday, the balloon is in the corner
holding onto nothing and floating shoulder high
the balloon says happy birthday, I can almost hear it singing
happy birthday harry, happy birthday harry

And no matter how the cards show their faces
And no matter how the dice hit the table
And no matter how the women lift their skirts a little higher
We’re all tired and getting older every year
And I can’t reckon why they spend their money here

Caroline’s a lady but she’s bad at conversation,
Can’t get her to say nothing more than hey and how are you
And she’s fine, she says I’m fine, with a river in her eyes
Can’t say nothing or my baby’s gonna cry
So we go drinking from the bottle and floating down the river
And swimming through the evening till the evening turns to black
And she sings just like a sparrow when she’s on the verge of leaving
But she’s quiet as the snow when she comes back
Yeah she sings just like a sparrow when she’s on the verge of leaving,
But she’s quiet as the snow when she comes back

And lately there’s a lift inside my limping
And lately there’s a swagger in my sadness
And lately there’s a hollow on my sunniest of days
Because the river rose has bound me to this place
Yeah the river rose has bound me to this place
And the river rose has bound me to the slowly churning water,
The river rose has bound me to this place

And no matter how the cards show their faces
And no matter how the dice hit the table
And no matter how the women lift their skirts a little higher
We’re all tired and getting older every year
And I can’t reckon why they spend their money here
Because the river rose is wasted and everybody’s swimming
And everybody’s singing carry on carry on
the river rose is wasted and everybody’s swimming
and everybody’s singing carry on
Track Name: Stitches
I loved you because you were a stranger,
and you smiled like the sun had got stuck in your teeth
And you smiled all crooked-like up at me
And I smiled all crooked-like back
I loved you because I didn’t know you
And you would never be mine for to have and to hold
I loved you because you had a lover
I loved you because I had a lover as well,
yes I did, yes I did

But when you sang to me, you flowed seamlessly,
Through your pleasure as well as your pain
But me I am made out of stitches I sewed on my own
In dark stations waiting for the train
And singing for change,

la de da, la de da, la da da da da
m la de da, la de da, la da da da da
la de da, la de da, la da da da da
mmm mmm mm mmm…

I loved you cause we met in a city,
That I’d never been to before,
I loved you cause we met under dim yellow light
On a happenstance night in the park

But when you spoke to me, you swam endlessly
On a string round the ring of the world
And I followed behind getting caught in the twine
That was winding its way round the words, thinking,
My tongue is a curse. My tongue is the worst. My tongue is a curse… the worst

And so silently, we swam endlessly,
on a string round the ring of the park
And when the lights went to sleep it was just you and me
Glowing lucid and blue in the dark

And when you turn to go I’ll be back on my own,
Just the wind pulling me piece by piece as it blows
But I was made out of stitches I sewed on my own
In strange cities I moved to alone,
I moved to alone,

la de da, la de da, la da da da da
m la de da, la de da, la da da da da
la de da, la de da, la da da da da
mmm mmm mm mmm…
la de da, la de da, la da da da da
m la de da, la de da, la da da da da
la de da, la de da, la da da da da
mmm mmm mm mmm…
Track Name: The North
There’s a man collecting bottles at the bottom of my street
Which would be fine but it is 2 and I would like to go to sleep
But he’s pacing with his grocery cart and howling in the dark
With his prayers and incantations of the north

And in china town I made friends with the opium smokers
They were all fatalistic, but they held close together
Over chasing the dragon and sleeping in the park
They said the winters are long here, and the summers are short
And we go wrecking our bodies to try and stay warm
And we’re martyred each year for the north
We are martyred each year for the north

Ooos

My grandpa was a mechanic from the lowlands of Nebraska
And in the army his plane crash-landed outside of Alaska
And they sent up their flares till there were holes in the snow
And they shivered in their boots till their bones nearly broke
They waited ten days in the cold
And that last night they built a temple out of things that they’d collected
They wrote letters to their families with what strength they had left
Then they prayed for the living and they prayed for the dead
Then they prayed to the gods of the north
He said the tundra was worse than the war
And help did arrive but his debts never died
And his body belongs to the north.

Ooos

Jesus was a family man before he went mad,
He built a 3-story home in the Old North End
And he painted it yellow, and he painted it red
Sometimes with a steady and then a trembling hand
Some days he just lay in his bed
But his wife began to see it when the moon was full and bright
Jesus couldn’t settle down,
Jesus sorcerer of the night
Would go pacing like an alley cat and howling in the dark
With his prayers and incantations of the north

Ooos
Track Name: Lincoln
I don’t think you ever fully leave Lincoln
No this city’s somehow tethered to your sleeve
And no matter what you say about this tired, simple place,
It seems to me you never fully leave,
Yeah you always come back to Nebraska,
Where the cornfields are growing to the sky
And your restless feet may take you many places,
But your dreams all pull you back here in the night
And you’ll try to make your name in many cities
When all you really wants a simple life
And you’ll fall in love with true and wild women
But in the end you’ll take a sweet Midwestern wife
And I am not the sweet Midwestern type
No I am not the sweet Midwestern type

But after driving for miles down I80
I start to feel a little more at peace
Dreaming of tiny houses on the edges of this town
And the train whistle that sings us back to sleep
And I start to think I never really left Lincoln
Even when the road was all that I could see
Cause no matter what I said when I was blowing in the wind
About rambling along and living free
This city left its porch light on for me
Track Name: Megan's Song
Thanks for loving me madly
And treating me right
I started that book you gave me and you’ve been on my mind
Are you still trying to quit smoking, have you been eating enough
Are you still painting your pictures, are you still writing your book
Do you ever see peter, do you ever see sam
Hows your father and brother, hows your mother been?
I miss the way that you smile, and the shape of your eyes
And the way they catch fire when you argue and theorize

And I wish I could see you now
I bet your scrappier than ever in your perfect misadventure
Bet your beautiful and breaking down
Kicking ass just like a lady, bet the boys are going crazy,
Oh you priestess of my prairie town
Where we’re born beneath the thunder and we’re willing victims of her
Of her fingers and her funnel clouds
Here we’re used to stormy weather, here we stand our ground together
In the sirens and the screaming out
To go on and wreck the bar scene, and the coffee shop on south street
And the reasons why I had to leave

Ive been remembering Lincoln in visions and dreams
Like when I feel the fall weather, or on nights I cant sleep
I see capital pkwy, I see Washington street
I see the paper cicadas on the cottonwood trees
I see myself going crazy and talking to ghosts
I see you coming to see me, at the hospital
I see you when you were 16 and you wanted to die
Crashing like a tornado through that fragile fence line
im so glad you got better, im so glad you’re alright
im so glad I got better, im so glad I’m alright

I just wish you could see me now, because my hair has gotten longer
And my voice has gotten stronger and I think you’d be proud
Because we made it to our twenties, it was anything but easy in this missed connection town
All our quiet desperation and our dreams of other places and our driving around
In a midnight-morning panic, oh us highway diner manics
In the heaven of our breaking down
On a scribbled scrap of paper that was nonsense to us later we wrote it all out

Thanks for loving me madly, thanks for getting me through
Thanks for being so wild and honest and true
For being my destination on those directionless nights
Thanks for loving me madly and treating me right