Tatterhood

by Hana Zara

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05:10
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05:02
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04:46
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05:48

credits

released 03 September 2013

The album Tatterhood was recorded and mastered by Brian Speaker, Speskersonic Studios, Brooklyn NY. Track 5 was recorded at Jenke Studios in Burlington VT, by Tommy Alexander, and mastered by Zach Crawford.

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about

Hana Zara Burlington, Vermont

My name is Hana Zara. My life has been split between Nebraska and Vermont, and I consider both my home, equally. I write songs a lot, and singing is my favorite thing to do. This is my bandcamp, where you will find access to the albums I have recorded thus far. I have another album in the works, which I will release in July of 2014. ... more

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Track Name: Dropout Generation
here's a drop out song for a drop out generation
it's a cheap fast fix for an apathetic nation
having doomsday dreams of some wreckingball event
that wipes the whole slate clean again

you could be anything, a politician or a dancer
but you stopped questioning when you got far too many answers
so you chose the streets and the bridges and the boxcars
and the easy money off of highway 84
and when you slept, you dreamt
of some wrecking ball event that wiped the whole slate clean again

because you can't sell out
or buy into any system
when you've got no fight left and when no one's really listening
except for the drop out kids in the drop out generation
singing fall out songs in abandoned building basements
having fight club dreams of some wrecking ball event
that wipes the whole slate clean again

so you turned your back on the life that they were selling
just to buy a pice of the corporate revolution
with peace sign patch and the face of che guavera
and your dumb wet dreams of the Greenwich Village era
spun on dirty speed and the city street pollution,
this is not a revolution
this is not a revolution

it's a drop out song for a drop out generation
a collective dream of an apathetic nation
and their silent plea for some wrecking ball event
that wipes the whole slate clean again
Track Name: New World Order
i am just a child of the new world order
a chemical dependence and an eating disorder
and a mind that flickers faster than a times square billboard
and i always am alone among a million strangers

and i never fall in love i just find you in the dark
and i do not know where i'm going cause i can't see the stars
i gave my money to the man who's operating the ride and i went on blind
i went on blind

i am just a child in a world of madness
a body and a mind designed for fields and forests
now neurotically entwined in a machine collective
sending signals in the dark without a true directive

and i never see the sun cause i am 6 feel underground
in a New York City subway station scrounging around
collecting money for the man who's operating the ride and i go on blind
and i go on blind

and i thought you were the man of my dreams
till i saw the track marks that you hid beneath your rosary beads
cause i guess it's hard to be a mystic in the middle of the city
when you're praying to your china white queen

and now i'm not sure you ever fell in love
you just found me in the dark
white knuckle grip against anything that might tear us apart
you caught me smiling at the man who was operating the ride but i had no choice, it was cold outside

and the old man in the park remembered quieter times
he said either let go completely or consent to the ride
give your money to the man who's probably high as a kite and just go on blind
go on blind

and when it crashes i just hope that i've got you by my side and we go together now into the night
yeah we go together now and we hold on tight
yeah we go on faith and we go on blind

and we never see the sun cause we are 6 feet underground
in this New York City subway station scrounging around
collecting money for the man who's operating the ride
and we go on blind
we go on blind
Track Name: Afterlife
I always fall apart when it rains
as I am made of stardust and sand
It kind of looks like nighttime today
Like someone drew the curtains on the land
And I stayed inside all week, dreaming of the afterlife
Where the light shines through the sheets and tells us there’s a world outside
There’s still a world outside for me

You don’t come around anymore
I know you’d like to think we just lost touch
but somehow it still shakes me to the core
to think that you no longer care that much

And now each day I stick around it takes a little part of me, a little part of me
I tried make it in this town, but I think it got the best of me, it got the best of me
I still think that it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have acted so cool
I should have loved you more-
But I could fill a giant room with things I held so dear to me,
and then carelessly cast to the fire

so when the summer comes back around
I will have sold all my things and moved away
Try to find my way in a new town
Start to plant my roots in a new place

But they say if I can’t be happy here, I won’t be happy anywhere, happy anywhere
But I’ll give it all I’ve got, just as long as there’s a fight in me, I will fight for this
Maybe I’m still young enough to imagine that a place exists, that needs me as bad as I need it

And I stayed inside all week, dreaming of the afterlife
Where the light shines through the sheets to us
There’s a world outside there’s still a world outside
But now I go out into the streets of this place I hardly recognize, I hardly recognize
Did I fall in love here once, or was I young here once?
Oh whatever the reason this place feels like home to me.
Track Name: Santa Ana
She said she could see auras the energy dancing around at the base of your spine
They were usually colors but she said that yours it was simply a column of light
Shooting into the atmosphere- bleeding into the afterlife,
She said your purpose it isn’t here,
No it’s up in the skies,
And straight in the middle of,
darling your dancing symmetrical eyes,
there is an arrow, and it points to the dark, dark matter of your mind.

And in the harbor all the ships came bearing secrets from the otherworld
All the whores and ethereal girls
I fell in love with her
But Santa Ana never falls for lonely sailors
The only thing she ever wants,
is to be the wind in which I toss
To see me drift forever lost
To smash my ship against the rocks
And leave me breathless on the dock
Is to be the wind in which I toss

she said “I spent so long outside of my body- I spent so long outside of my mind-
I spent so long in absolute darkness, and I spent so long in absolute light,
And sometimes I still wish I was crazy
At least then I’d have god on my side
It’s better than being half asleep while everyone’s telling you to look alive- look alive.”

And in the harbor all the ships came bearing secrets from the otherworld
All the whores and ethereal girls
I fell in love with her
But Santa Ana never falls for lonely sailors
The only thing she ever wants,
is to be the wind in which I toss
To see me drift forever lost
To smash my ship against the rocks
And leave me breathless on the dock
Is to be the wind in which I toss
Track Name: Lithuania
I dreamed last night I found you half alive but mostly dead
and that I pulled you from the ashes of your dark opium den
And that slowly you got better in the comfort of my care
but I knew even in my dreaming I could never keep you there

You’d go on searching for your ghost of a love
Some bright girl from Lithuania
She’ll sing her songs to pull you home
And you’ll feel the aching in your Baltic bones

There’s a place on the horizon where the ocean meets the earth
Now she will give and take forever till the elements disperse
But it never feels that fair inside this city by the sea
It’s like the more it give to her the more she tries to take from me

Till I started thinking I was born with a curse
Because I loved the living version of St. Petersburg
And when I’m landlocked and alone
I still fine myself aching for your city made of stone

But the winds blew through the streets
And they pulled the tiny wreckage of my vessel out to sea
In search of meaning, in search of truth
It turns out I was only looking for myself in you

So I lay in bed this morning half awake and half asleep
And there I told you all the secrets that my lips could never speak
Oh and then I let you go, you pulled away from me like fog
I guess I needed that goodbye to know you’d been there all along

And I realized in moments such as this
I have always felt the gravity of my own emptiness
Like when I saw you without the mask, I only saw my very own reflection staring back
And that’s all I ever want, is to see beyond the distance we think separates us all
And into love we will not fall, we will dissolve

So go on searching for your ghost of a love
Some bright girl from Lithuania
She’ll sing her songs to wake you up
And you’ll feel the music in your Baltic blood
She’ll sing her songs to pull you home
And you’ll feel the aching in your Baltic bones
Track Name: You Burnt the Toast
you burnt the toast and then you almost died
trying to get it out of the toaster with a knife
and i was there, i saved your life,
while all the streets and people lost their concrete and their minds
and we were lying there
only scraps of us
we almost disappeared
into the green-gray granite and dust
and we never made it down to Greenwich Village
i keep having these dark dark dreams about times square
but we stayed up singing love songs in the kitchen and you undid my hair
undid my hair

yeah you burnt the toast and then you almost died
trying to get it out of the toaster with a knife
and i was there talking nonsense half of the time
swearing that the streets all re-arrange themselves beneath the cover of the night
and we were lying there
only scraps of us
we almost disappeared
into the green-gray granite and dust
and we never made it down to Greenwich Village
i keep having these dark dark dreams about times square
but we stayed up singing love songs in the kitchen and you undid my hair
undid my hair
Track Name: Tatterhood
I was born in a snowdrift and so I learned to play
along the rivers that lay still beneath my feet
And that winter- you walked with me- all the time- through the forest,
I got a little bit of frostbite on my cheek
And I learned then what love is
Cause you carried me inside
you sat me by the fire till I was warm again
And I learned then what love is
you tucked me into bed
you gave me all you had and asked for nothing
Yeah I learned what love is

When my heart was breaking, you picked me up from school
I tried to keep it in, but you knew, you always knew
And you told me you’d been there and I could let it out
You drove ninety miles an hour down the freeway
And we screamed as loudly as that little car could take

And I learned then what love is, you knew I needed help
Let the beast inside me yell and didn’t run
And I learned then what love is,
Love lets you be yourself
Love honestly has want for nothing else

Thank you for not expecting me to be a lady all the time for reading tatterhood and singing lullabies
Oh and sleeping bears sleeping bears, are sleeping in the forest,
till we wake them and shake them and they go dancing through the streets,
Sometimes I’m 4 years old and dancing as I’m standing on your feet,
Oh and thank you for always being there to point me north,
For pullin’ me back in when my ship drifted too far from the shore.
I’m only the utmost very luckiest to have you
as my father, as my teacher, as my family, and my friend.
You understood me so that I could go on dancing once again

And believe me, I’ve come out of these woods without a scratch and now I’m
standing with my arms out on the wide and golden plains
So I can laugh with all my laughter and I can cry with all my pain,
Because the love you taught me is so very easy to translate,

So now that I’m older, I just want you to know,
I didn’t fall far from your tree, but I’m growing roots now of my own
So when your soul wants to travel, and you leave this world behind,
You should know without uncertainty that I will be alright,
Because you told me what love is,
ya carried me inside
you sat me by the fire till I was warm again
And you told me what love is
You tucked me into bed
You gave me all it had and asked for nothing
Yeah I learned what love is

So thank you for not expecting me to be successful all the time
For reading tatterhood and singing lullabies
And sleeping bears, sleeping bears are sleeping in the forest
Till we wake them and they go dancing to the sounding of the drums
Sometimes I’m four years old and dancing as I’m clinging to your thumbs