Where Amanda is King

by Hana Zara

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KoH
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KoH She's seen the monolith lit from within! Favorite track: Laurel.
Hassles
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Hassles coz' this s the latest installment of the songwriter most remarkable. As fabulous as any I have encountered - a mesmerising journey, a palette most colourful, a musical seductress most extreme. I kneel enamoured!
tracygrammer
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tracygrammer Hannah's writing stops my breath, and her singing comes from an old, old place somewhere deep in the wood of our shared becoming. For fans of poetry and possibility.
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credits

released December 15, 2017

Recorded, mixed, and co-produced by Sam Morris at Circle M studios. Mastered by Doug Van Sloan at Focus mastering, Album art by Amber Stevens, All songs written and produced by Hana Zara Kornbluh.

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about

Hana Zara Lincoln, Nebraska

Hana Zara is your fellow student in earth school, learning how to not be a jerk, and making sense of life through art. Thanks for listening.

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Track Name: Hartford
Hartford I saw you, gutted and empty
saw you lucid and blue, pecking for food
and how I loved you, I brought you flowers
For the gaps in your streets, strewn your sidewalk with seeds
I saw you were thirsty so I brought you rainstorms
for the lines in the woodwork, the moss on the floor
and then Hartford I gave you, up like a present
to the pigeons and gulls, the ravens and wolves

oh Americana mystic, American dream
with your cinematic moonlight, and your blue kerosene
carousel parts in the scrapyard and the gaps in your teeth
you daughter of nobody

Hartford I saw you, there from the freeway,
Under billboards and lights, and fast food signs
And I heard you calling through the hum of the highway,
Heard your shiver and groan, your howl and moan

Oh Americana mama of the sinew and soot,
with a baby at your bosom and a fire under foot
With your organic indifference and your infinite love,
Americana mama of all of us

Hartford I saw you, wrapped in a blanket
made of feathers and leaves, and river reeds
Stood in the sunshine, you little monster,
with the train of your spine and your broken window eyes you cried

Americana classic, would you please let me go
I am kudzu and ivy, I am crumbling stone
I am skinnier than ever and I’m shivering cold
With my streets paved with flyers, buying silver and gold,

Oh Americana mystic, oh you medicine man,
With the leather of your bare feet and a gun in your hand,
lead the army of the new world, where Amanda is king,
and plants flowers in everything
Track Name: The Toy
The whole world a toy at the end of a stick
And the fat fingered boy who is brandishing it
Knowing not who she is, knowing not what he does
We collectively pitch as he swings at a dove

The whole world a toy that he keeps on his desk
He will stop between class to observe how she spins
How her land masses move and tectonic plates shift
Wants to know how it’s done, makes her do it again, makes her do it again.

The whole world a pet he is learning to train
And the more he imposes the more she obeys
Her rains redirected, her volcanoes contained
nto clad iron vessels that carve the terrain

And to find there is blood that runs under the soil
To be saved from the primitive ways we once toiled
What a marvelous mission our fishing the earth
For she kept all her jewels like a fool in the dirt

The whole world a woman he can’t look in the eye
After giving her body to him in the night
Her full moon filleted in the strange yellow light
Her once glamorous cities are clamoring hives

And the bottomless oceans he so longed to swim
By daylight are tangles of cellophane fish
And he begs she be calm and not fissure and pitch
For her storms interfere with his satellite dish

The whole world a stone that he turns in his hand
All his worrying wearing a grove in the land
From this seemingly extemporaneous game
He only learned retrospectively just how to play
Still he boldly declares, if I know her at all
She is still keeping secrets deep down in the soil
And if that’s not enough the game still can be won
With the wind through a pinwheel, and the light from the sun

The whole world a looking glass turned on itself
Where he watches him watching her turn on the shelf
Where he watches his own sorry self turn away
For to unfold his dream of an unspoiled place

For beneath this erecting of silica towers
He’s terrestrially lonely and beaconing out
And compulsively longing to rise from the dust
In unearthly perfection and the likeness of god
From his clad iron ship
Isn’t this what I wanted, isn’t this what I wanted, isn’t this what I want?

The whole world a toy that he loved as a kid
When he used to believe he was part of all that
The whole world a sadness inside of his chest
If only, if only to be part of all that

I would swim in her rivers, and drink from her breast
Eat the fruit from her trees, fall asleep in the grass
I would swim in her rivers, and drink from her breast
Eat the fruit from her trees, fall asleep in the grass
Track Name: Hooray Hoorah
sweet little blue on the concrete,
swaying on barefeet,
unlocking your bike
pressed to the breathing chest of the night
diving in deep, and surfacing weaker every time
hooray hoorah, hooray hoorah

and no matter the words that i choose,
nothing suffices, and nothing feels true
when walking beside us are rabid raccoons
wringing their hands, laying waste to our plans
hooray hoorah, hooray hoorah

and you say that you dream of it all the time
and it doesn't leave you alone
and the tears start to pool in your eyes
and you think you might follow it home, home, home

steeped in the light of the front stoop
buzzing about as you light up a smoke
falling to pieces and holding your own
jumping right in,
coming up thinner every time,
hooray hoorah, hooray hoorah

and you say that you dream of it all the time
and it doesn't leave you alone
and the tears start to pool in your eyes
and you think you might follow it home, home, home
Track Name: Black Widow
There is a field within a field inside my chest
And through this field I go wandering
And in this field within a field inside my chest
Black widow sits quiet

I say what are you doing?
She says, from the center of my web
I am listening to the music of the great silence

There is a city at the far end of this field
And in this city I’m a stranger
But black widow she has been this way before
And so I ask her of its danger

I say were you afraid?
She says no, and I’ll never be again,
I am just one more form emerging from the great silence

There is a field within a field inside my chest
And through this field I go wandering
When it is darkened by a familiar loneliness
So I say black widow, what of this?

I say are you alone?
She says no, and I’ll never be again,
For it is I who walks beside me through the great silence
Yes it is I who walks beside me through the great silence

But I say oh black widow, where do I go?
Where do I go? Where do I go?
and oh black widow what do I do?
What do I do? What do I do?

I say where would you go?
She says here, at the center of my web,
All I truly need it comes to me from the great silence,
All I truly need it comes to me from the great silence

Then she says peace, my child
There is nothing more to ask
If you listen there is music in the great silence
Track Name: Womb of Amanda
I hold the hand of my mother
Who stands hand in hand with my father
Who stands hand in hand with my sister
Who stands hand in hand with my brother
In this we are bound to each other
In this we will know one another
In this on the map of each hand
We will learn of the love of Amanda

But here the assembly sector is silent
Save for the wind and the river both crying
And the whole world is humming in clear
That she is loving and living and here
And in the assembly sector for miles
There are hundreds and hundreds of circles
And we are made of the fire that binds us
And we are made of the space that divides us
And we are made of the shape of the sound
Of thousands of voices all singing aloud
And we sing that we may become free
Of these earthly and hungry bodies
And we sing that we someday may know
Of the lines that will lead us back home
And one day we will lay hand in hand
In the womb of Amanda again
Track Name: Zion Boat
Tell my momma I am on my way now
Tell my papa I am coming home
With not a penny in my pocket
Just a simple song I wrote
For the Zion boat

For years this body was my kingdom
And then this body was my curse
today my body is the molting feathers of a bird
I will lay me low, I will lay me low

And my mother, how will I know you?
And how will I know my father's face?
You were changing form last time I saw you
Already on your way
And me I've gotten so much older
My shoes I've worn into the ground
This body once that was my kingdom is now a heavy crown
I will lay me down

So tell my true love, now I must be leaving
Tell my true love it pains me to go
We walked all our earthly days together
but we all must walk alone, to the Zion boat
Track Name: The Sower
This city remembers the prairie
The whispering hush, the wind in the sage brush
That carries the ghosts of the bison
To wander the streets, and click down the concrete

Oh Michael, of the high seas
In the grasslands, standing knee deep
Tend your garden and fight the notion
That nothing grows here in the city

And the truckers remember the sailors
Keep one weathered eye, as they pitch down the turnpike
To carry their goods to the market
Where the colorful stalls made way for the strip mall
But believe it or not these streets used to fill up with people

Oh Michael, of the high seas
Deck of cards and sharp machete
Hanging laundry across the driveway
While all around you rose this city

The sower remembers the garden
Comes down time to time, to stand in the breadline

Oh Michael, of the high seas
In the grasslands, standing knee deep
Tend your garden and fight the notion
That nothing grows here in the city

Oh Michael of the high seas
In the morning, drinking whiskey
We’d go swimming to remember
That this whole city once was water
Track Name: The Sea Widow
Stood looking over a silent city, the stitches come loose on my limbs
All of my stuffing and straw wearing thread, finding my way with the needle and thread,
Carry myself to a place I can lay down,
head on my pack, pack on the ground,
some old alley cat who was once someone's pet,
but one day just wouldn't be found

Talking in sounds indecipherable, bled into the light and the night was a glow
Lifted on wings, to a great golden ledge, where I watched as the world got completely undressed.

Stood looking over a frozen tundra, the snow falling low on the lake,
The cottontail deer were all running away, as I moved in and out of the radio waves
As I moved in and out of the radio waves

Talking in sounds indecipherable,
bled into the light and the night was a glow
Lifted on wings, to a great golden ledge,
where I watched as the world got completely undressed.
Naked as bone, she rings into space,
that long lonesome howl the sea widow makes,
The pull of the bow, the lone violin,
the pitch of the bow, the wales following.
Turning around, this great ringing sphere,
she moves towards the light until new life appears.

I stood looking over a laughing city, a murmuring choir of doves,
Come down to peck at my stuffed cotton arms,
come down to tear all my stitches apart
Come with a bounty of flowers and thorns,
Come down to roost in the bend of my arm,
Come to make use of the last of my form,

Talking in sounds indecipherable,
bled into the light and the night was a glow
Lifted on wings, to a great golden ledge,
where I watched as the world got completely undressed.
Naked as bone, she rings into space,
that long lonesome howl the sea widow makes,
The pull of the bow, the lone violin,
the pitch of the bow, the wales following.
Turning around, this great ringing sphere,
she moves towards the light until new life appears.

Talking in sounds indecipherable,
we all gather around with our flowers for you
To say life is good, & your friends are all near
& that we are proud of each thing that you do
Track Name: The Cats
There was a time long ago when I met you
And the earth gave a splendid applause
And the cats followed us through the pasture,
And the trees bowed their heads as we walked

When I opened my mouth in a clearing
And a centipede crawled from my teeth
And a buzzard flew circles above us
As a hot wind blew foul and free

Still you rose time again to my bedside,
Though doubt would not leave you alone
And each time that you thought you might love me
A centipede crawled from my throat

And we made us a home by the river
And the years flew suspiciously by
And the cats came in heat to our window
all summer to bellow and cry

How I love, how I love to be cherished
How I love, how I love to be held
To be followed through holes in old fences
Through fallows and forgotten towns
My darling…

And when I envision you now
You’re in some pristine and prismatic house
Where each breath makes a crystalline structure
That falls with a clink to the ground

I am here in my twisting and twining
Of strange things that ring in the night
Of flowers that sing while they’re blooming
The ballad of being alive
Of flowers that bloom in the evening
And sleepily open their eyes
And sing for their own sweet enjoyment
The ballad of being alive
Track Name: Laurel
I used to dream of daisychains and nothing but the sun
And my pleasure seeking soul, she always had me on the run,
but I caught her in the moment and I asked her why she spun,
she said when I slow down the whole thing catches up.
And I mostly am a wanderer, when I am lost im found,
and i chose to leave the ocean where my sisters all abound,
cause the river she would call to me, her lonely drifting sound,
She'd say we're mostly made of water, we will trickle lazily down

But I'll admit that Anastasia I was following your wild ways,
They had me running to the grave,
We learn of freedom and then we scream it as we barrel down the interstate
Figure we're dying anyway,

So when you ask me where I'm going, I'm not going anywhere,
I'm walking out beyond the wreckage, wreath of laurel in my hair,
I'm walking out beyond the shackles of this heavy load I bear,
Till all my nights are holy reverie, and my mornings are a prayer.

And we will grow in the heart of this age, we will push up through the pavement,
I've seen a garden that grows in a glass jar,
I've seen the monolith lit from within,
And I've seen trees growing over the tree line,
They grow twisted and tough in the wind,
I've seen a garden that grows in a glass jar,
I've seen the monolith lit from within,
And we will grow in the heart of this age, we will push up through the pavement,
I've seen a garden that grows in a glass jar,
I've seen the monolith lit from within,

So when you ask me where I'm going, I'm not going anywhere,
I'm walking out beyond the wreckage, wreath of laurel in my hair,
I'm walking out beyond the shackles of this heavy load I bear,
Till all my nights are holy reverie, and my mornings are a prayer.
Track Name: Snow
My love, I remember there was snow,
and that it came down in sheets of white
And it covered up the city over night
I still go there sometimes
And we are very vast, and small
And here there is no difference at all, at all

Would you remember me well
Give my love to John and Sally, and a kiss for Noelle
And remember me well
But remember me right,
Still raging like a river, raging through the night,
And so remember me right.
And remember me true
Just as damned as any spirit
And crazy for you and so remember me true
Remember me true

Sometimes, I think you’re right upstairs
And you’re holding holy council with
Your conscience and your earth defying instruments
Receiving me sometimes
But I am very vast and small
And sometimes cannot find myself at all, I cannot find myself at all, at all.

Would you remember me well
Give my love to John and Sally, and a kiss for Noelle
And remember me well
But remember me right,
Still raging like a river, raging through the night,
And so remember me right.
And remember me true
Just as damned as any spirit
And crazy for you and so remember me true
Remember me true

And my love, I remember there was snow
And that it came down in sheets of white,
and it crystalized your body into mine
We let the thread go by
We tumble in the hands of change
And everything is born and dies each day,
is born and dies each day,
is born and dies each day
Track Name: House of Mirrors
I tried to tell you I was wretched, and you say it isn’t so
You say I see the ways you’re held
I only see the things I hold
Like when I hold with brittle fingers, to this world of flesh and bone
You say the whole thing holds us in, I guess I worry that it won’t

So when I’m crawling out my skin
When I am sounding the alarm
You say the whole thing moves in love and I can rest my human form
Inside the fold of something bigger
Inside the safety of the swell
The thing that calls us always further
Beyond the confines of ourselves

And you, my trusty house of mirrors
you bring me bread and flowers in a thousand shades of sugar
And more than I could ask
My lovely apparition, you find me on the corner and you take me home again

I tried to tell you I was sorry and you told me not to be
You said I don’t need your confession, would you just come outside and see
That she is changing up her face again, she is shifting in her skin
And every time I think I see her, she goes and changes form again

Still I felt like saying sorry, I felt like bowing down my head
If I cannot be your beloved, can I still bring you tea and bread
Can I still stand with you in wonder, as the creature she unfolds
And the illusion loses hold

And you, my trusty house of mirrors
you bring me bread and flowers in a thousand shades of sugar
And more than I could ask
My lovely apparition, you find me on the corner and you take me home again

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