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Where Amanda is King

by Hana Zara

supported by
Steve Lake
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Steve Lake Extrospective lyrics with beautiful delivery as only Hana can do. Favorite track: The Toy.
KoH
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KoH She's seen the monolith lit from within! Favorite track: Laurel.
Hassles
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Hassles coz' this s the latest installment of the songwriter most remarkable. As fabulous as any I have encountered - a mesmerising journey, a palette most colourful, a musical seductress most extreme. I kneel enamoured!
tracygrammer
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tracygrammer Hannah's writing stops my breath, and her singing comes from an old, old place somewhere deep in the wood of our shared becoming. For fans of poetry and possibility.
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1.
Hartford 03:51
Hartford I saw you, gutted and empty saw you lucid and blue, pecking for food and how I loved you, I brought you flowers For the gaps in your streets, strewn your sidewalk with seeds I saw you were thirsty so I brought you rainstorms for the lines in the woodwork, the moss on the floor and then Hartford I gave you, up like a present to the pigeons and gulls, the ravens and wolves oh Americana mystic, American dream with your cinematic moonlight, and your blue kerosene carousel parts in the scrapyard and the gaps in your teeth you daughter of nobody Hartford I saw you, there from the freeway, Under billboards and lights, and fast food signs And I heard you calling through the hum of the highway, Heard your shiver and groan, your howl and moan Oh Americana mama of the sinew and soot, with a baby at your bosom and a fire under foot With your organic indifference and your infinite love, Americana mama of all of us Hartford I saw you, wrapped in a blanket made of feathers and leaves, and river reeds Stood in the sunshine, you little monster, with the train of your spine and your broken window eyes you cried Americana classic, would you please let me go I am kudzu and ivy, I am crumbling stone I am skinnier than ever and I’m shivering cold With my streets paved with flyers, buying silver and gold, Oh Americana mystic, oh you medicine man, With the leather of your bare feet and a gun in your hand, lead the army of the new world, where Amanda is king, and plants flowers in everything
2.
The Toy 05:34
The whole world a toy at the end of a stick And the fat fingered boy who is brandishing it Knowing not who she is, knowing not what he does We collectively pitch as he swings at a dove The whole world a toy that he keeps on his desk He will stop between class to observe how she spins How her land masses move and tectonic plates shift Wants to know how it’s done, makes her do it again, makes her do it again. The whole world a pet he is learning to train And the more he imposes the more she obeys Her rains redirected, her volcanoes contained nto clad iron vessels that carve the terrain And to find there is blood that runs under the soil To be saved from the primitive ways we once toiled What a marvelous mission our fishing the earth For she kept all her jewels like a fool in the dirt The whole world a woman he can’t look in the eye After giving her body to him in the night Her full moon filleted in the strange yellow light Her once glamorous cities are clamoring hives And the bottomless oceans he so longed to swim By daylight are tangles of cellophane fish And he begs she be calm and not fissure and pitch For her storms interfere with his satellite dish The whole world a stone that he turns in his hand All his worrying wearing a grove in the land From this seemingly extemporaneous game He only learned retrospectively just how to play Still he boldly declares, if I know her at all She is still keeping secrets deep down in the soil And if that’s not enough the game still can be won With the wind through a pinwheel, and the light from the sun The whole world a looking glass turned on itself Where he watches him watching her turn on the shelf Where he watches his own sorry self turn away For to unfold his dream of an unspoiled place For beneath this erecting of silica towers He’s terrestrially lonely and beaconing out And compulsively longing to rise from the dust In unearthly perfection and the likeness of god From his clad iron ship Isn’t this what I wanted, isn’t this what I wanted, isn’t this what I want? The whole world a toy that he loved as a kid When he used to believe he was part of all that The whole world a sadness inside of his chest If only, if only to be part of all that I would swim in her rivers, and drink from her breast Eat the fruit from her trees, fall asleep in the grass I would swim in her rivers, and drink from her breast Eat the fruit from her trees, fall asleep in the grass
3.
sweet little blue on the concrete, swaying on barefeet, unlocking your bike pressed to the breathing chest of the night diving in deep, and surfacing weaker every time hooray hoorah, hooray hoorah and no matter the words that i choose, nothing suffices, and nothing feels true when walking beside us are rabid raccoons wringing their hands, laying waste to our plans hooray hoorah, hooray hoorah and you say that you dream of it all the time and it doesn't leave you alone and the tears start to pool in your eyes and you think you might follow it home, home, home steeped in the light of the front stoop buzzing about as you light up a smoke falling to pieces and holding your own jumping right in, coming up thinner every time, hooray hoorah, hooray hoorah and you say that you dream of it all the time and it doesn't leave you alone and the tears start to pool in your eyes and you think you might follow it home, home, home
4.
Black Widow 04:40
There is a field within a field inside my chest And through this field I go wandering And in this field within a field inside my chest Black widow sits quiet I say what are you doing? She says, from the center of my web I am listening to the music of the great silence There is a city at the far end of this field And in this city I’m a stranger But black widow she has been this way before And so I ask her of its danger I say were you afraid? She says no, and I’ll never be again, I am just one more form emerging from the great silence There is a field within a field inside my chest And through this field I go wandering When it is darkened by a familiar loneliness So I say black widow, what of this? I say are you alone? She says no, and I’ll never be again, For it is I who walks beside me through the great silence Yes it is I who walks beside me through the great silence But I say oh black widow, where do I go? Where do I go? Where do I go? and oh black widow what do I do? What do I do? What do I do? I say where would you go? She says here, at the center of my web, All I truly need it comes to me from the great silence, All I truly need it comes to me from the great silence Then she says peace, my child There is nothing more to ask If you listen there is music in the great silence
5.
I hold the hand of my mother Who stands hand in hand with my father Who stands hand in hand with my sister Who stands hand in hand with my brother In this we are bound to each other In this we will know one another In this on the map of each hand We will learn of the love of Amanda But here the assembly sector is silent Save for the wind and the river both crying And the whole world is humming in clear That she is loving and living and here And in the assembly sector for miles There are hundreds and hundreds of circles And we are made of the fire that binds us And we are made of the space that divides us And we are made of the shape of the sound Of thousands of voices all singing aloud And we sing that we may become free Of these earthly and hungry bodies And we sing that we someday may know Of the lines that will lead us back home And one day we will lay hand in hand In the womb of Amanda again
6.
Zion Boat 04:58
Tell my momma I am on my way now Tell my papa I am coming home With not a penny in my pocket Just a simple song I wrote For the Zion boat For years this body was my kingdom And then this body was my curse today my body is the molting feathers of a bird I will lay me low, I will lay me low And my mother, how will I know you? And how will I know my father's face? You were changing form last time I saw you Already on your way And me I've gotten so much older My shoes I've worn into the ground This body once that was my kingdom is now a heavy crown I will lay me down So tell my true love, now I must be leaving Tell my true love it pains me to go We walked all our earthly days together but we all must walk alone, to the Zion boat
7.
The Sower 03:29
This city remembers the prairie The whispering hush, the wind in the sage brush That carries the ghosts of the bison To wander the streets, and click down the concrete Oh Michael, of the high seas In the grasslands, standing knee deep Tend your garden and fight the notion That nothing grows here in the city And the truckers remember the sailors Keep one weathered eye, as they pitch down the turnpike To carry their goods to the market Where the colorful stalls made way for the strip mall But believe it or not these streets used to fill up with people Oh Michael, of the high seas Deck of cards and sharp machete Hanging laundry across the driveway While all around you rose this city The sower remembers the garden Comes down time to time, to stand in the breadline Oh Michael, of the high seas In the grasslands, standing knee deep Tend your garden and fight the notion That nothing grows here in the city Oh Michael of the high seas In the morning, drinking whiskey We’d go swimming to remember That this whole city once was water
8.
Stood looking over a silent city, the stitches come loose on my limbs All of my stuffing and straw wearing thread, finding my way with the needle and thread, Carry myself to a place I can lay down, head on my pack, pack on the ground, some old alley cat who was once someone's pet, but one day just wouldn't be found Talking in sounds indecipherable, bled into the light and the night was a glow Lifted on wings, to a great golden ledge, where I watched as the world got completely undressed. Stood looking over a frozen tundra, the snow falling low on the lake, The cottontail deer were all running away, as I moved in and out of the radio waves As I moved in and out of the radio waves Talking in sounds indecipherable, bled into the light and the night was a glow Lifted on wings, to a great golden ledge, where I watched as the world got completely undressed. Naked as bone, she rings into space, that long lonesome howl the sea widow makes, The pull of the bow, the lone violin, the pitch of the bow, the wales following. Turning around, this great ringing sphere, she moves towards the light until new life appears. I stood looking over a laughing city, a murmuring choir of doves, Come down to peck at my stuffed cotton arms, come down to tear all my stitches apart Come with a bounty of flowers and thorns, Come down to roost in the bend of my arm, Come to make use of the last of my form, Talking in sounds indecipherable, bled into the light and the night was a glow Lifted on wings, to a great golden ledge, where I watched as the world got completely undressed. Naked as bone, she rings into space, that long lonesome howl the sea widow makes, The pull of the bow, the lone violin, the pitch of the bow, the wales following. Turning around, this great ringing sphere, she moves towards the light until new life appears. Talking in sounds indecipherable, we all gather around with our flowers for you To say life is good, & your friends are all near & that we are proud of each thing that you do
9.
The Cats 03:30
There was a time long ago when I met you And the earth gave a splendid applause And the cats followed us through the pasture, And the trees bowed their heads as we walked When I opened my mouth in a clearing And a centipede crawled from my teeth And a buzzard flew circles above us As a hot wind blew foul and free Still you rose time again to my bedside, Though doubt would not leave you alone And each time that you thought you might love me A centipede crawled from my throat And we made us a home by the river And the years flew suspiciously by And the cats came in heat to our window all summer to bellow and cry How I love, how I love to be cherished How I love, how I love to be held To be followed through holes in old fences Through fallows and forgotten towns My darling… And when I envision you now You’re in some pristine and prismatic house Where each breath makes a crystalline structure That falls with a clink to the ground I am here in my twisting and twining Of strange things that ring in the night Of flowers that sing while they’re blooming The ballad of being alive Of flowers that bloom in the evening And sleepily open their eyes And sing for their own sweet enjoyment The ballad of being alive
10.
Laurel 05:07
I used to dream of daisychains and nothing but the sun And my pleasure seeking soul, she always had me on the run, but I caught her in the moment and I asked her why she spun, she said when I slow down the whole thing catches up. And I mostly am a wanderer, when I am lost im found, and i chose to leave the ocean where my sisters all abound, cause the river she would call to me, her lonely drifting sound, She'd say we're mostly made of water, we will trickle lazily down But I'll admit that Anastasia I was following your wild ways, They had me running to the grave, We learn of freedom and then we scream it as we barrel down the interstate Figure we're dying anyway, So when you ask me where I'm going, I'm not going anywhere, I'm walking out beyond the wreckage, wreath of laurel in my hair, I'm walking out beyond the shackles of this heavy load I bear, Till all my nights are holy reverie, and my mornings are a prayer. And we will grow in the heart of this age, we will push up through the pavement, I've seen a garden that grows in a glass jar, I've seen the monolith lit from within, And I've seen trees growing over the tree line, They grow twisted and tough in the wind, I've seen a garden that grows in a glass jar, I've seen the monolith lit from within, And we will grow in the heart of this age, we will push up through the pavement, I've seen a garden that grows in a glass jar, I've seen the monolith lit from within, So when you ask me where I'm going, I'm not going anywhere, I'm walking out beyond the wreckage, wreath of laurel in my hair, I'm walking out beyond the shackles of this heavy load I bear, Till all my nights are holy reverie, and my mornings are a prayer.
11.
Snow 06:01
My love, I remember there was snow, and that it came down in sheets of white And it covered up the city over night I still go there sometimes And we are very vast, and small And here there is no difference at all, at all Would you remember me well Give my love to John and Sally, and a kiss for Noelle And remember me well But remember me right, Still raging like a river, raging through the night, And so remember me right. And remember me true Just as damned as any spirit And crazy for you and so remember me true Remember me true Sometimes, I think you’re right upstairs And you’re holding holy council with Your conscience and your earth defying instruments Receiving me sometimes But I am very vast and small And sometimes cannot find myself at all, I cannot find myself at all, at all. Would you remember me well Give my love to John and Sally, and a kiss for Noelle And remember me well But remember me right, Still raging like a river, raging through the night, And so remember me right. And remember me true Just as damned as any spirit And crazy for you and so remember me true Remember me true And my love, I remember there was snow And that it came down in sheets of white, and it crystalized your body into mine We let the thread go by We tumble in the hands of change And everything is born and dies each day, is born and dies each day, is born and dies each day
12.
I tried to tell you I was wretched, and you say it isn’t so You say I see the ways you’re held I only see the things I hold Like when I hold with brittle fingers, to this world of flesh and bone You say the whole thing holds us in, I guess I worry that it won’t So when I’m crawling out my skin When I am sounding the alarm You say the whole thing moves in love and I can rest my human form Inside the fold of something bigger Inside the safety of the swell The thing that calls us always further Beyond the confines of ourselves And you, my trusty house of mirrors you bring me bread and flowers in a thousand shades of sugar And more than I could ask My lovely apparition, you find me on the corner and you take me home again I tried to tell you I was sorry and you told me not to be You said I don’t need your confession, would you just come outside and see That she is changing up her face again, she is shifting in her skin And every time I think I see her, she goes and changes form again Still I felt like saying sorry, I felt like bowing down my head If I cannot be your beloved, can I still bring you tea and bread Can I still stand with you in wonder, as the creature she unfolds And the illusion loses hold And you, my trusty house of mirrors you bring me bread and flowers in a thousand shades of sugar And more than I could ask My lovely apparition, you find me on the corner and you take me home again

credits

released December 15, 2017

Recorded, mixed, and co-produced by Sam Morris at Circle M studios. Mastered by Doug Van Sloan at Focus mastering, Album art by Amber Stevens, All songs written and produced by Hana Zara Kornbluh.

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Hana Zara

Hana Zara is an an evolving collection of musical thought-bytes, worlds turned inside-out, and the scattered debris of our psychic oneness

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