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Afterlife

from Tatterhood by Hana Zara

supported by
Michael Ballantine
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A J
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about

This song was written in September of 2012. I found myself falling in love with my hometown of Burlington Vermont, and began preparing to leave the Midwest. I had made the decision to move to Burlington, but I still had a few months to wrap things up in Nebraska. In that time period I felt suspended between two places and during that suspended period I wrote Afterlife.

lyrics

I always fall apart when it rains
as I am made of stardust and sand
It kind of looks like nighttime today
Like someone drew the curtains on the land
And I stayed inside all week, dreaming of the afterlife
Where the light shines through the sheets and tells us there’s a world outside
There’s still a world outside for me

You don’t come around anymore
I know you’d like to think we just lost touch
but somehow it still shakes me to the core
to think that you no longer care that much

And now each day I stick around it takes a little part of me, a little part of me
I tried make it in this town, but I think it got the best of me, it got the best of me
I still think that it’s my fault, I shouldn’t have acted so cool
I should have loved you more-
But I could fill a giant room with things I held so dear to me,
and then carelessly cast to the fire

so when the summer comes back around
I will have sold all my things and moved away
Try to find my way in a new town
Start to plant my roots in a new place

But they say if I can’t be happy here, I won’t be happy anywhere, happy anywhere
But I’ll give it all I’ve got, just as long as there’s a fight in me, I will fight for this
Maybe I’m still young enough to imagine that a place exists, that needs me as bad as I need it

And I stayed inside all week, dreaming of the afterlife
Where the light shines through the sheets to us
There’s a world outside there’s still a world outside
But now I go out into the streets of this place I hardly recognize, I hardly recognize
Did I fall in love here once, or was I young here once?
Oh whatever the reason this place feels like home to me.

credits

from Tatterhood, released September 3, 2013

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Hana Zara

Hana Zara is an an evolving collection of musical thought-bytes, worlds turned inside-out, and the scattered debris of our psychic oneness

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