Science Fiction

from by Hana Zara

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I hate your science fiction, I hate your action movies
I hate your clothing from the dumpster and your house below the freeway
And I’m still standing in the wake of all your schizophrenic madness
And you left me at the place where you trailed out beyond language
And so I tried to live without you, in the quiet of the forest
But the quietness was heavy, and the heaviness reflects you
And I hate your loving arms and that your girlfriend took your name
And that you still call me when your lonely just to see if I still love you
And I love you like the wind that comes in screaming off the lake
Woken early in the morning to visions of your face
And I love you like the banshee, as she shrieks in the sun
She didn’t choose to know the future it’s the code in her blood
And I love you like my family, and I love you like my son
And I love you like the morning the midnight becomes

I hate your science fiction, and the lightness in your step
And the trinkets in your pockets and the booze on your breath
And how you always look dirty, even when you are clean,
And how those lines round your eyes they just cut into me
And now my heart feels like metal, and my veins run like rust
I had to start loving god cause I can’t love you this much

And the last time that I saw you, you were crazier than ever
Hadn’t slept in a while, been living outside all winter
And you pulled back the plywood
And we slept on the floor
Dreamt of islands and children and growing old on the shore
But we both woke up thirsty, and despising each other
You went digging through ashtrays with rough yellow fingers
And in the coffeehouse morning we stood by like beggars
For nicotine buzzes and glasses of water
And I hate your crazy wisdom, and your other-worldly freedom
While the rest of us stand still you somehow never stop moving
And I love you like my devil, and I love you like my god
And I’m not really sure you existed at all

I hate your science fiction, and the rhythm in your step
And my fingers in your fingers, and the smoke on your breath
And I’m still scared of your mindset, I’m still scared of your magic,
I’m scared you’ll die at the hands of your horrible habits
And I hate that I once knew you, long before all off this started,
You read books and played cello, and we camped in the yard
Before you started making contact, with those other-worldly forces
It was summer, we were kids, with big dreams and round faces


from The North, released March 19, 2015



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Hana Zara Burlington, Vermont

be calm, be kind, ask yourself who you are and live from there.

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